Waiting for More

Being a child of the golden age of Disney, I can easily use one animated song or another to accurately describe each moment in my life. Lately, I had been feeling very Rapunzel to the tune of “When Will My Life Begin”. As a nanny I constantly think “I’ll do this with my own children” or “How will I handle that with my kids?” I realized about a month ago that it will be a solid decade before I get anywhere near the same situations with children of my own. The world will be so different then. How can I even compare life now to how life will be then? Then I get all existential and contemplative, realizing that I’m making all these plans for “some day”...

My Pinterest is filled with boards guided by the future. From DIY house tips for the home I’ll eventually buy to crafts I’ll make when I finally have access to a sewing machine to my dream wedding (HA!). I have plans to travel, to write a book, to grow old with my best friends. So much of daily life is dedicated to and dictated by the future that I seem to have forgotten to appreciate and acknowledge daily life.

Yes, my future adventures will be extraordinary and I hope to have someone special with me to experience all that. But for now I need to be happy with my life as it is, in all its mundane repetitiveness. I'm not saying that I should just settle or not look forward to anything. I just need to appreciate all I've been blessed with.

I love my jobs. The Kid is hysterical and his parents are so wonderful to me. I will never be able to fully express my appreciation to them for giving me the opportunity to be part of their family. And teaching…oh Lord. It is a continuous struggle but after the first few months I was so relieved to find that I really did love it. There is an overwhelmingly terrifying feeling when you first break into what you hope will be your career. That wave of “I’ve just spent thousands of dollars I didn’t have to learn how to do this….What if it sucks? What if I suck???” I’m sure you can imagine my immense relief when I realized that I not only loved being in the classroom, but I was good at it. Great doesn’t even begin to cover it.

Anyway, the point I’m trying to make is that I don’t need some grand vacation or whirlwind romance to have an adventurous life. I don’t need to wait for anything. On a daily basis I am responsible for any combination of 3 houses, 3 dogs, 3 cats, and a 10 year old boy. Add teaching high school to the mix and, well, I’m not sure I could handle much more of an adventure.