It's weird to think that it's already been half the time that I was here before. It's been quite the adventure so far with lots of different kinds of experiences, from trying to fit in to the family dynamic, to figuring out my role in my school, to going out, to giving private English lessons, to having Spanish classes again.
The most important things I think have been to be flexible, open to anything and everything, and also making sure I have a little time to unwind by myself. I have no idea what's going on half the time, because, hello, everyone is speaking in my non-native language and I miss context clues or I pay attention to the wrong parts of the conversation. It's hard to be 100% tuned-in all of the time; it takes a lot of brain power and then I often still don't understand. I just have to go with the flow, pretend I know what's going on, or *sigh* ask questions, which is embarrassing for me because I don't want to ask a question in terrible Spanish.
Last weekend for example, I thought we were going out so that my host sister could get a haircut, and we ended up at the cinema to see a 2 hour documentary about the local festivals and traditions. Last night we went to the country at 6ish for what I thought would be a few hours, and we ended up staying for dinner at 10 or 11 and then until about 1:30 in the morning. That's like a full work day where I have to be awake and paying attention and trying to communicate with people who I just met. Although a huge part of this experience is talking to new people, and I have really been enjoying that, my introverted self is more attuned to sitting back and observing what's happening around me and taking notes for later.
Another aspect that has been a little difficult is not having another (English-speaking) person here to experience it with me. Last time I was here in Spain, I had a shared story with the Katie and Kaitlyn who I lived with and the people I traveled with; it's part of a collective memory and we all remember different parts. This time it's up to me and I don't get to say to a close friend, "Remember when we went to the disco and we danced like crazy people when they played the Spice Girls?" (Unless it happens on the weekend travels with Katie, which I'm looking forward to for the above reasons). There are some things that transcend language and the incredulity or hilarity can be communicated with just a look between my host sisters and I, and those things I really enjoy paying attention to. But I get to be an observer of my host sisters with all their close friends and their inside jokes and shared history, and I know I have that somewhere else in the world, and if they were transplanted here it would be a natural fit. I know I could make close friends here, but it's not quite the same. Now I know that I can do Spain on my own, and it's great, but my next adventure I'd like to share with others. For now I hope the blogging suffices; it's been helpful for me to get down in words what I'm feeling and what I want to remember.
Wish you all could be here and see this through your own beautiful perspectives.
Siempre,
Emily
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